


Bloodied Scars

by X_thedemonmoose_x



Category: Drarry - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drarry, Multi, Self Harm, Suicidal Draco, Suicidal harry potter, Suicide Attempt, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 08:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/X_thedemonmoose_x/pseuds/X_thedemonmoose_x
Summary: Draco Malfoy, the proudest meanest slytherin  in hogwarts, or so everyone thought...





	1. Innocence

Draco took a deep breath as he stepped onto the hogwarts express as he always did when a new year started, but for some reason this time felt different. He didn't want to sit with crabbe, goyle or pansy in fact he did really want to get on the train at all. But he knew it was better than home because at least at hogwarts he wouldn't have to deal with the constant 'your a disgrace to the malfoy name , imagine what people will think of us when they find out your one of them',or the ' your more disgusting than a mudblood you filthy boy' that his parents repeated to him daily, sometimes while using a torture curse on him. He was so sick of everything, of himself. Draco thought back to his first year in hogwarts, yes his friendship may have been rejected by potter and others but he enjoyed life so much back then.   
Draco's train of thought was soon inturupted when a hufflepuff prefect shoved past him.   
Draco stepped onto the hogwarts express and decided although it was risqué he would sit in potters usual area and explain why when they arrived. 

Making his way down to the end of the train caused draco more anxiety than he  had expected, particularly because he heard crabbe calling him to come and sit with him amongst all the other (not so nice) things the older students had been shouting at him.   
Draco was no longer the innocent (ish) boy that he was, now as his father called him, he was a faggot. Horrible words and phrases clouded Draco's mind, he had blanked out and was now walking as it seemed aimlessly through the train...


	2. Broken pieces

Upon arrival at the end of the train draco saw that hermonie had already taken her seat.  As he slide the door open Hermonie instantly flicked her head in malfoy's direction and rolled her eyes.   
"come to mock me have you" she snapped at him, Draco could feel his heart beat faster and faster, he was going to have a panic attack.  
"uuhhh draco... You look more pale than normal" she said trying to sound a little bit worried but he didn't answer and just to make the situation worse Harry and ron grabbed him and pushed him out of the doorway warning him not to mess with hermonie but they soon realised something was wrong, as Draco was sweating and gasping for breath. 

People from different train carragies had heard the noise and came to check but this wasn't helping draco at all.  He knew what he had to do and he hurried to the nearest toilet,  followed by Ron, Harry and Hermonie who were all now actually concerned. 

Draco locked the toilet door and sat on the toilet seat, he tried to control his breathing but he just couldn't,  draco thought there was no other way out,  he had to stop the pain at all costs. So he pulled his wand from his pocket and cast a spell which shattered the mirror in the toilet into pieces. By this time the toilet door was being bashed and people were shouting at him to unlock the door.   
Draco picked up a shard of glass and rolled up  his sleeves and began to make a cut into his wrist. Dark crimson liquid dripped onto the toilet floor and draco (who was crying buckets of tears)  started to feel faint. 

In all the panic hermonie had been pushed to the back, She was astonished that no one had thought about using alohomora. She finally fought her way the front, cast the spell and stumbled her way in just as draco fell to the ground and lay in a pool of blood with a shard of glass in his hand.


	3. What Have U Done With Malfoy

Draco woke up,  not in a hospital  but in hagrid's hut.   
"he's awake" Harry sighed with relief.   
Draco sat up forgetting all about his wrist which had started to ache and sting. Harry, ron, Hermonie and Hagrid where all  staring at draco as he examined his surroundings, his now stiched up wrist and his change of clothing. Draco decided to break the silence by asking someone to pass him the little notebook and quil from his now soggy trousers.   
'Attempt Number 5 and a half he scribble down in the notebook, 'failed'. Hermonie couldn't keep her questions to herself any longer  so she pulled out her wand and put it to Draco's kneck. "who are u and what have you done with malfoy! "  she shouted which frightened draco to the point where he could have sworen his heart skipped a beat. Ron had to pull Hermonie back to allow him to speak but he was regretting that because all draco said was i don't want to talk about it.   
Hagrid was furious at his reply and snatched the notebook from draco's hands almost ripping a page as he did.   
Hagrid could not believe what he'd just read, "malfoy why have u been trying t'...t' kill yourself" he stuttered.Malfoy knew he was going to cry again so to avoid anymore embarrassment he took his book from Hagrid and his clothes from the pile and stormed out the door,  he ran as fast as he could and found himself in tears stumbling through the forbidden forest.


	4. Missing

Draco's vision was blurred, his eyes so full of tears they stung but he didn't seem to be able to cry he could get it out, his throat felt swollen and painful. And on top of all of that he started to hear things ;Voices telling him to follow them. Draco had given in so easily and followed the sound voices. 

By this time Harry, ron and heromine left hagrids and had made thier way to snapes class, only when they had all settled down had they realised Draco was absent. They has assumed after he stormed out that he would go into the school and go straight to crabe and goyle. They weren't the only ones wondering were draco was thought. As draco is snape's favourite student he was naturally in shock the he hadn't turned up. And of course he looked over at potter and asked, "where is he ?! ". Harry was pretty upset that snape assumed he'd done something to draco and he was pretty surprised thst no one had suspected that on the train draco tried to kill himself, no one really seemed to care, not even his 'friends'. Hermonie was thinking hard about where draco could be and then it hit her. Draco wouldn't go back into school because he would be embarrassed so the onky other place he could be was the Forest.   
After potions had finished hermonie pukled ron, and harry aside, "we can't go to our next lesson we have to find draco" she said but ron shook his head "he's probably just in slitherin Common room. "   
Harry thought about it but decided hermonie was right and that if draco was in the common room how come crabe and goyle didn't know where he was. So they set off for the forbidden forest to find draco .   
On the way there ron made then stop because he had a bad feeling.   
"wha... What if he's already dead i mean he's suicidal in the forbidden forest, for all we know he could have given himself up to the spiders." ron felt a lump swell in his throat "I'm not g...g...going back to those spiders" he stuttered. But hermonie ignore him and forced him to carry on walking.


	5. Hanging tree

Draco stumbled hopelessly through the forest, he was now crying and the voices had got louder. 

He soon arrived at what seemed to be  an abandoned witch hanging tree. Unable to walk anymore he sat against the tree and continued to cry. 

The voices became so unbearably loud, "you worthless shit draco", "no one likes you draco", "you can't even kill yourself right." but one particular voice was louder than the rest so draco was forced to listen. "The tree draco, this is were the sorry excuses for witches and wizards are, draco HURRY UP AND HANG YOURSELF!" the voice echoed and screeched through Draco's head until he gave up and decided to obey them. Draco stood up and dragged him self over to a lone rope hanging on a lower of branch. Breathing heavily he stood staring and the rope which next to it stood a toad stool for him to stand on. Draco stood on the stool and inserted his kneck into  the loop. He started to count. " 3....2... -" 

Draco stopped because he heard someone screech his name. And just  then he was pulled off of the stool and hermonie came rushing towards him screaming as she did. 


	6. Dramonie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do not be fooled by titles. 

Draco was breathing heavily, ron and harry held him down while hermonie did her best to calm him down.

" its not working hermonie!" said ron "we have no choice but to take him to the hospital wing!" 

"just stupefy him already" said harry impatiently. 

"ok ok, calm down...stupefy!" she cried . And in the blink of an eye draco was out cold. 

Draco woke up in the hospital wing, his joints were aching dearly and he had a splitting headache. As he assessed his surroundings he noticed two girls sitting by his bed arguing about something.

"Go away you filthy mudblood, why are u even here he hates u! " screeched  pansy parkinson at the top of her lungs. 

" I dont care if he hates me, i helped bring him here, i have a right to check if he's ok! " hermonie shouted back. 

" yannoe what, I'm leaving,  draco'll tell u, potter and the blood traitor to leave him alone soon enough" sneered pansy and with thay she stormed out of the hospital wing and slammed the door shut behind her. Draco blinked his eyes back to clear vision and allowed hermonie to swesp his hair off of  his face. "h.. Hermonie" he croaked but he was cut off by her lips pressed against his. One she had realised what she'd done they broke apart and her face flushed a bright sgade of pink. Draco was so shocked he couldn't speak.Hermonie took this awkward silence as her que to leave and she speed off out of the hospital wing leaving draco lying there dumbfounded. 

                       *         *          *        *

Hermonie ran so fast she almost lost track of where she was going. She made her way to the fat lady's portrait and spluttered the words 'b.. og.. art". The portrait swung open and hermonie stumbled inside. 

Harry and Ron jumped up and looked to see hermonie panting and fumbling her way towards them. "I... I kissed him" she said still trying to catch her breath. 

"YOU WHAT!!" shouted ron nit caring who listen "SO WE SEND YOU TO CHECK UP ON HIM WHIKE WE'RE AT QUIDDITCH PRACTICE AND YOU TAKE IT UPON YOURSELF TO KISS HIM!!" 

" i wasn't thinking straight, pansy got me all riled up and i... Im sorry ok" hermonie muttered, she could barely bring herself to look at ron. He had asked her out the day they took draco to hagrids she had said maybe later because of everything that was going on. Hermonie regretted kissing malfoy and she certainly regreted turning down ron. 

She doesn't love malfoy and she never will, and she hoped that he would know that he and her were never going to happen as well. 


	7. Taste the rainbow

Draco new he was in a very awkward situation.   
Hermonie might like him and he doesn't like her in thar way whatsoever. Draco was actually kinda confused about some stuff until the kiss. But now he was sure. Draco malfoy, 100% gay. Good he hated it. He didn't want to deal with the whispers and the comments abd the avuse he'd get from all the slytherins. If draco told people he was gay he'd go fron the top straight to the bottom and he'd loose all his 'friends'. 

Draco decided to sneak out of the hospital wing and make it clear to hermonie that he didn't feel the same way but before he could get up a messy haired boy came running in. Great just what he needed, Harry potter come to shout at him because of the incident.   
"i.. I'm so..." Draco began but was pleasantly inturupted by harrys warm arms around his body.   
"i can't keep this up anymore. I was actually really worried about u. Im so sorry for everything I've said to u over these years, can we call a truce. " harry said while finally letting go of draco.   
" uuhhhh sure" Draco replied "im sorry too" he didn't really want to show it but after what harry said it was like a fire had lit inside draco. This was the happiest he'd been in months maybe years.   
Draco tried to find anywhere to look but at harry and when he noticed the time the fire in his stomach immediately went out.   
"it's past curfew" draco muttered.   
Harry looked at draco and said nothing. Draco's face started to feel quite hot and his heart was racing.   
"ummm harry?? " he tried but harry still did not answer. Instead harrys eyes shifted there way to Draco's lips, of course draco noticed this and he couldn't help but wond.... Draco could think straight anymore he was to focused on harry's soft lips pressed against his.  
Draco was expecting harry to run off like hermonie so he quickly to his chance and kissed harry back. He could tell harry was not expecting this as he quickly pulled away from draco.   
"i.. I..gotta go " harry spluttered already half way to the door.  
" i thought so " Draco mumbled while trying to fight back tears.   
What if harry was playing some massive joke.   
What if harry thought draco was a bad kisser.   
What if ha... Wait since when is he harry not potter, and since when did he decide he liked potter.   
Ffs why was his life do confusing. 

* * * * * * *

"WTF HARRY! " ron belowed " FIRST HERMONIE NOW YOU!, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING AT, IS IT MY TURN NOW AM I GONNA HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE AND SNOG HIM! "

The difference between harry kissing draco and hermonie kissing draco is that harry had liked it. He did like draco and didn't kbow when or how he started to like draco but he did. 

" I'm sorry ron i can't help it. I think i like him. " harry said calmy.   
" Ye, and I'm in love with hermonie granger" ron said sarcastically.   
"but ron you asked ... "   
" im going to bed well talk about this another time..." ron climbed into bed and turned away from harry, "or never".


	8. Used

Harry woke up early, he knew he had to talk to draco wehter ron liked it or not.  
He got dressed and tried his best to make his hair look decent and went straight to the hospital wing. As he arrived madam pomfrey was in her little office sleeping.  
And draco was also still asleep. Harry crept over to the side of Draco's bed trying to be as slient as possible but it didn't really work because draco began to stir more and more with every step he took. By the time harry reached Draco's side draco had sat up and rubbed his eyes awake.  
Harry looked at draco with his messy hair and thought he actually looked really good without all that gell.   
Draco hadn't realised that harry was there until harry coughed. Draco jumped and reached for his wand then once he'd seen who it was his heart began to race.  
"uhhh hi" harry said cheerfully while rubbing the back of his kneck awkwardly.  
Draco new he didn't want to give harry another chance to run so he came straight out with his question without saying hello.  
"why'd you kiss me? "  
Harry thought of something he could say to avoid the question, he laughed akwardly and said " not even a hello back".  
Draco frowned and repeated his question. "why'd you kiss me? "  
There was no way harry could get out of answering thw question without looking like an idiot so he tried to play it off as if he was just testing.  
" well see, you were there and i didn't think anyone else would allow me to kiss them yannoe to test out my sexuality an stuff, ye i decided i..." harry hadn't actually properly decided what his sexuality was he knew that he had liked cho and ginny and he knew he had liked cedric but he wasn't actually sure if he had loved any of them because the way he felt about draco during that kiss was so different to any way he'd felt about anyone before.  
Harry's thoughts were inturupted by draco insisting he carry on.  
"you decided what? "  
"well i haven't really decided anything yet" harry said truthfully.  
Draco smiled and then instantly began to look heartbroken.  
"you.. You were just u...Using me?!" tears began to collect in Draco's eyes but he held it because he wasn't about to let stupid fucking harry potter see him cry.  
"draco...i.. Well.. " harry didn't have anything to say because it wasn't true he sorta knew before that he liked draco but he didn't want draco to know that.  
" get out " draco mumbled.  
" what? " harry was so consumed in thought he hadn't heard draco at all.  
" i said... GET OUT!! " draco shouted pushing harry away from him. Before harry could retaliate or protest madam pomfrey entered the room and shooed him out of the hospital wing.


	9. Double Suicide??

Gaaah how could draco have been so stupid. Harry didn't like him. He just used him just like voldermort and his parents. Only to find that draco was useless and worthless. Draco couldn't take it anymore, this time he had to succeed. He had to kill himself and he Couldn't let anyone stop him. 

After all lessons had finished madam pomfrey finally released draco. And draco managed to slip in and out of the slytherin common room without anyone noticing.   
His hand was bleeding because he had quickly grabbed his knife and was squeezing the blade in the palm of his hand. Draco ran into the bathroom and began to cry at the sink. He rolled up his sleeves and looked at his arms covered in red lines and started to slice his arms in every direction. The place with the most scars was his ugly death eater mark draco constantly tried so hard to scrap it from his skin hut it wouldn't budge.   
Blood was everywhere. Draco was soaked and so was the bathroom floor. 

"draco??... Ik your in here" a voice echoed through the bathroom.   
Oh shit just what draco needed potter come to see him at his worst after using him.   
"fuck off potter" draco stood uo and readied his wand.   
"please draco i just wanna talk. "  
Draco knew if he talked to Harry he would forgive him and of he forgave him he wouldn't be able to... Yeah.  
Draco took his chance and ran straight past harry and uo the astronomy Tower. But harry chased him.   
" draco please! " harry shouted after him. 

Once draco reached the tower he went climbed on the balcony and turned to face the door.   
Soon enough harry stormed in.   
" draco get down. Im sorry, i didn't mean to hurt you. Please draco. "  
" no potter, im not letting u or any of your friends talk me out of this or save me. Not again. "  
" fine" harry lowered his wand " i'm gonna jump with you"  
Draco was shocked, harry wouldn't he couldn't kill himself just to make draco feel better because he wouldn't make draco feel better at all.   
" you wouldn't dare" draco sneered.   
Harry rolled uo his sleeves revealing many tuny scars and some fresh red criss crosses and stood next to draco.   
"your not the only one struggling".   
Draco was torn, he was in shock, he was in pain and he was slightly pleased that harry was willing to risk his life for draco.   
"fine you win potter. " draco stepped down from the balcony but harry stayed put.   
" yannoe i always wondered what it would be like." harry turned to face over the edge.   
"potter wtf are you doing ?! " draco shouted   
But harry tuned him out.   
" yannoe malfoy, i was actually coming here to do this but when i pulled out my map to check if anyone was there i saw you and i had to apologise before i came up here." he turned to face draco" im sorry,about everything ". Before draco could respond harry fell backwards from the tower and pummelled to the ground.   
shit, no no no no Draco thought to himself as he ran to look over the edge and there was harry spralled out on ground below. Surrounded in blood and his body utterly lifeless.


End file.
